


In Love With My Own Sins (Dr. Benzedrine)

by Mswriter07



Category: America's Suitehearts - Fall Out Boy (Music Video), Fall Out Boy
Genre: Angst, M/M, Patrick's transformation into Dr. Benzedrine, Sweet Angst, if mentions of abuse squicks, inspired by Das_verlorene_Kind's Halloween fic 'The Youngest Was The Most Loved, this is a bit of sequel/epilogue, turn back now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 22:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13645488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mswriter07/pseuds/Mswriter07
Summary: Patrick's transformation into Dr. Benzedrine.





	In Love With My Own Sins (Dr. Benzedrine)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Das_verlorene_Kind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Das_verlorene_Kind/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Youngest Was The Most Loved](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12578220) by [Das_verlorene_Kind](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Das_verlorene_Kind/pseuds/Das_verlorene_Kind). 



> Thank you to Das_verlorene_Kind for approving this fic inspiration. It's finally done and I hope you enjoy what I came up with to help close out this wonderful, heartbreaking universe you brought to life.

When Sandman stopped the swirling he put Patrick down on his bed and let him sleep. He pinned a note and then left the house. He didn’t need to see the final transformation of Patrick into a brightly colored Angel of Death. Patrick could grow into what his dreams were and he would be able to control life and death at his whim.

A year later, Patrick was in the kitchen of the small house that he’d been sequestered to after he took his life in that hospital room next to Mr. Garrison’s bed. He didn’t feel alone in this house even though he couldn’t leave it yet. He found a lab in the small second bedroom and a closet full of dandelion yellow suits with yellow top hats at his disposal along with everything that if he thought it he had except for his friend, Mr. Sandman.

Patrick swirled the concoction around the test tube and then tipped it over into his teacup with an herbal tea cooling off. He sat at the kitchen table and opened his latest notebook with his experiments and concoctions. As he put his quill pen to the paper, he felt the atmosphere change, and he looked up from his work. Mr. Sandman sat across from Patrick at the furthest point of the table.

Patrick raised an eyebrow in question but he didn’t say anything. Words wouldn’t do any good for this conversation. Sandman saw that Patrick had grown more secure with himself and that he grew into this new life. “How are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better since I’ve been here. I’m perfecting some of my formulas.” Patrick replied slowly not knowing where Sandman was going with his questions.

“Would you like to see everything now?” Sandman asked.

“So I can leave this house now?” Patrick sneered as he picked up his teacup.

“It was for your own good and you know it. Everything I’ve done I’ve done because you’re special to me.”

“Do you love me like my Mommy did?” Patrick asked as he set his cup back on the saucer.

“I love you so much more than she ever did. I was only trying to look out for you and protect you.”

“You suck at protecting me. I’ve been raised and groomed into this life. I’ve been perfecting my knowledge on the formulas for the pills and liquids that I learned in nursing school.”

“What should I call you then?”

“Dr. Benzedrine. I’ve been working on something to help you feel better if you trust me to give it to you.” Patrick said as he glanced down at his notebook and pen.

“Let me give you a tour and I’ll think about what you have.”

“Can I touch you now that I’m on this side with you?”

“Yeah. We can touch whenever you want.” 

“Good. You won't be leaving my sight then.” Patrick said as he reached across the table.

“What'd you put in your tea?”

“A concentration potion. It works wonders.” He noticed Sandman still hadn't reached for his hand and he arched his brow again. “Are you afraid this time?”

“No just thinking.” Sandman said as he watched Patrick flex his fingers. He took Patrick's hand and laced their fingers together. “You will be the death of me someday.”

“Not today I hope. Now weren't you going to take me outside?” Patrick let a shy smile appear behind his own painted and powdered face.

“You just observe today. I'll introduce you as Dr. Benzedrine and we can setup your persona so the people leave you the fuck alone unless you want to fuck with them.”

“Isn't that how it's always been in my life? When you killed Mommy I could never fit in anyways unless I helped people in a time of need.”

“I guess you could say that. I did try to free you from this path but your dad didn't understand what had happened to you and you couldn't articulate it either.” Sandman frowned at that conclusion and squeezed Patrick's fingers.

“Maybe we were set on this course because we’re meant to be together.”

“I think we were.” Sandman settled. He stood up and helped Patrick up from the table.

“Shall we?” Patrick asked.

“Yes we shall.” Sandman replied as he wrapped his arm around Patrick's suit clad waist. Sandman walked them to the front of the house and turned the knob on the front door and it opened for the first time since Patrick was deposited there.

Color exploded in Patrick's vision and he had to blink out the sunspots before he could take in the world around him - so many colors that Patrick gasped as he took a deep breath. “Are we in a circus? I see a Merry-Go-Round and few rides off to the side.”  
“No circus but we do have some rides and some of the residents prefer tents to actual houses. I prefer a house.”

“I think I prefer a house.” Patrick said.

“That means I can come back to my house and we can work on redecorating and making space for all of our stuff.”

“You dropped me in your house and kept me prisoner for a solid year without so much as a note or explanation when I finally woke up?” Patrick said as he tried to yank his hand from Sandman’s.

“I told you that I love you far more than your mother. You needed to make this transformation on your own.” Sandman said as he laced their fingers together again.

“Where were you for a year?” 

“I was at my other residence but I was busy collecting Death’s souls. Remember that is my job.”

“I know. How did you know I would still be alive?”

“We can’t die easily in this realm and the fact we’ve developed a co-dependency on each other so we need each other.”

“I worked tirelessly on trying to find things to help you….”

“Help?” Sandman asked in disbelief.

“Yeah; not harm. I’ve done a lot of thinking since I came here and I understand what you tried to tell me when my mommy had the heart attack. You’re better than the therapists and medication they had me on.”

“I’m not better but I understand why you did what you did and that your mother didn’t even know how to handle you. I accepted you for what you were and you honed your craft in the year you were here.” Sandman explained.

"I know my mommy loved me; she just didn’t know how to show it well.”

“Patrick this is going to be one of our fights for the rest of our lives. We can move away from that though and just know that if not for her we wouldn’t have met. Destiny knew we needed to meet.”

“Yes she did.” Patrick said.

“Now let's go meet your adoring public and get situated.”

Two hours later, the two men went back to Sandman’s house and Patrick said, “They seem to be in awe of me.”

“Very much so. You’ve done what they want and that’s to change into what we are for better or worse.”

“Sounds like wedding vows.”

“Do you want to get married for real?”

Patrick looked at him and said, “What?”

Sandman grinned and said, “Me and you. Forever. Dr. Benzedrine and Mr. Sandman. Patrick and Pete.”

“Pete?” Patrick asked in awe.

“My name before this.”

“We fit together.” Patrick said quietly.

Sandman looked over Patrick’s face and he ran his thumb over Patrick’s mouth. “What do you say?”

“Yes. Where? When?” Patrick grinned as he nipped at Sandman’s thumb.

“The Ringmaster can do it and I should be able to summon him inside the house.”

“We can summon other people?” Patrick asked in disbelief.

“Yeah.” Sandman said wearily.

“Why didn’t you come when I thought about you and wanted you near?”

“You needed to do what you did before I could come back. I watched some nights while you slept and hoped you were learning and understanding what I couldn’t really express or teach in person.”

“I understand and I hope you find me a worthy party.”  


Sandman grasped Patrick’s cheeks and said, “We wouldn’t be getting married if I didn’t already think the world of you and respect where you came from.”

“Married now! We can spend the night consummating this partnership and go from there.” Patrick said as he drug Sandman into the house.

“I love how you think.” Sandman said.

“Hop to it.” Patrick said.

“Ringmaster’s coming. Jesus Trick.” Sandman said as he spun around with Patrick in their living room. He wanted to kiss the man and never stop but he wanted them married first - he did have a few scruples about him.

Patrick’s cheeks pinked up under his powder and rosie blush and he asked, “Will we wear rings or what will happen?”

“We can have rings. Yellow gold okay with you or what do you like?”

“Gold is good. It’ll match my suits.”

Sandman opened the palm of his hand and two rings were there and he said, “Read the inscription.”

Patrick lifted his ring and read, “I’m in love with my own sins.” He looked back up at Sandman and said, “It fits.”

Sandman grinned and while the two were distracted Ringmaster appeared. He watched as the two looked at each other like they were the only two who existed on either plane. He cleared his throat and the two broke their gaze and looked over at the Ringmaster. “I’m the Ringmaster of the people of the Suitehearts. Which of my services are you in need of?”

“Need you to marry myself and the Doctor here.” Sandman said as he moved closer to where the Ringmaster stood.

“So Mr. Sandman has finally met his other half? May I ask your name Doctor?” Ringmaster said as he lifted his top hat and gave a bow of respect.

“Doctor Benzedrine.” Patrick said as he tipped his head. He was starting to understand that he and Sandman were of the upper echelon of this plane and possibly even the more earthly plane of humans.

“Pleasure to finally meet you officially. Many stories are circling through the land about you and I know you’ll live up to them.” He put his hat back on and continued, “Now to marry you.” He provided the speech and vows and he said, “Now as betrothed husbands, you may kiss.”

He took a step back as the two men slipped their rings on and finally Sandman took to the notion he could finally kiss Benzedrine for the rest of their lives. Benzedrine opened his mouth and let Sandman kiss him deeply and as he returned the kiss he slipped two pills into Sandman’s mouth from his own. Sandman swallowed them trusting his life in Benzedrine’s hands and he went back to kissing his husband. When they needed to catch their breath, Benzedrine said as he ran his thumb over Sandman’s bottom lip, “Mine!”

“Yours!” 

And with that the Ringmaster disappeared with a knowing look on his face.


End file.
